What if someone asks me for money?
As we prep for Chicago next week – I want to talk to you about something.
I love downtown Chicago more than almost everyplace else on the planet. It does have a particular quirk that I want to tell you about.
When I am in Chicago, I get asked for money by people who appear to be in need *a lot*.
Now, I’m not making a judgment call, saying whether these people are in need or not. I don’t know.
What I *do* know is that I feel much more comfortable when I have a plan –
My options are:
1. Have change in my pocket, easily accessible to be able to give a little. (I typically don’t carry any cash.) I don’t believe it is safe for me, a short round female, to stand on a busy sidewalk digging through a purse.
2. Have food or water in my pocket, again, easily accessible to be able to give. Some people don’t want food, but I often feel better being able to offer.
3. Say no thank you. I don’t have to be rude, but I *can* say no thank you.
That’s it. My short talk about something that I had not had to think about before I was in the big city.
13 Responses to “What if someone asks me for money?”
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Good tips, all. Think I’ll keep a bunch of Twinkies in my pocket, just in case.
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I always feel bad when people ask me for money – stems from a documentary years ago in the UK about people that were basically on the scrounge in London – asking for money but actually were filmed getting into BMWs round the corner after a hard day’s begging… but then there was another documentary on a couple of weeks ago where some slebs faked homelessness in order to get to know some people and actually had to ‘make it’ alone for 10 days – the people they filmed and the stories, the reasons for homelessness and what some people are going through just made me mad. Mad on their behalf I mean.
I think I would rather do something constructive where I live like donate to a soup kitchen or hostel of some sort – I appreciate this has become a pretty useless comment on your post…..
I’ll leave now
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Fab ideas, Dawn. All of them. Being prepared is the best idea for those of us unsure in Teh Big Citiez.
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I was thinking maybe I’ll just be drunk enough to barf on their shoes.
Is that rude? Oh.
On the serious, this issue conflicts me all.the.time. Bleeding heart of a cynic and such. Great post, beesh.
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If I have money easily accessible, I always give it. I can’t tell you how many co-workers I’ve had make fun of me for this. But yeah, I totally agree you shouldn’t go digging through your purse.
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I hate being caught off guard. Hate it. I like being prepared. Good tips!
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I do not give money to beggars in cities. As a woman, I do not feel that it is safe.
A few times I have seen men begging around my (small town) area, and I have given them meals, not cash.
My husband, on the other hand, will give them money (out of his wallet, where they can see how much he has!) but I guess he feels confident that he can take ‘em if they try to grab his wallet and run. He does have a black belt after all. I don’t. And I don’t have that confidence.
He has also been known to buy meals for street people. Again, something that I, as a woman, do not do. I do not want to get into a discussion with someone, and walk with them somewhere in a city that they’re more familiar with than I am, and run the risk that someone will abduct me, or take me into a dark alley and hurt me.
If it makes you feel better, give a little money to a local soup kitchen, and then if people hit you up you can say, “I gave to the TraLaLa soup kitchen at Clark and Belmont – I’m sure you can get a meal there.” But honestly, it is well within your rights and perfectly fine to just ignore them and keep walking. Seriously. You are a woman on your own in a big, strange city. Just walk away, Renee. Just walk away.
Good suggestions, but I had to add the above.
And don’t go anywhere by yourself if you can help it – company lessens your chance of getting lost, and there is safety in numbers.
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Oh man, that’s tough. As a Chicago native, I can assure you that 9 times out of 10, if you show them respect, make eye contact, and just say, “No, thank you,” they’ll respond with a simple “God Bless.”
It still hurts my heart, though.
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Good prep tips.
I definitely subscribe to the don’t give cash theory for the two big reasons described above — don’t know the situation of the person there and don’t know how that could impact my safety.
I do know that Feeding America (formerly America’s Second Harvest) is headquartered in Chicago. For those who don’t want to donate cash on the street, but do want to do something for Chicago residents, you can check out their website and donate there or locate a food bank: http://feedingamerica.org/
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If I gave money to every homeless person I met on the street I would be dirt poor. No joke.
Best tip you said? If have it readily available then share if you so inclined. I never go out of my way to find money to give away, I just can’t everyday all day.
The only time that I ever do give money is winter. I never do in the summer.
And! I once was on a job site with a couple co-workers and we would chat with a homeless man that begged across the road outside a McDonald’s. There was a sign that the McD’s was hiring and when we questioned him why he didn’t apply for a job he straight up told us that he makes more begging.
The only thing that works constantly without fail? DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT.
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And! I just re-read your title.
If they ask, then politely decline. Just say “sorry” or “no thank you”.
If they just look at you? DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT.
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When I’m walking by a derelict who says, “Change?” I always reply “No thanks, I’ve got plenty” and then pull out a handful of quarters to show him.
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Hummm..
Unfortunately this is something that I deal with at least once each week. I agree with the poster who said to look them in the eye and say: “I’m sorry – I don’t have anything”. I’ve also used the following: “Dude, I WISH I had something to give”. Depends on the person!
Usually I also get a “God Bless”.
I think though that there is something in the delivery of this though so it might not work for everyone.
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