What I’m Bringing To BlogHer: The Not Clothes or Shoes Edition
*EMERGENCY UPDATE: DON’T FORGET THE LIP BALM!!!!* (See also: plane travel.)
Ok, so to be clear, I *AM* bringing clothes and shoes. But this post is about the other stuff. You know, the other important stuff that you might forget because you’re obsessed with OHMAHGAW WHATTOWEAR JAYSUSechCHRIST PPLWILLBESTARINGATMAHBEWBS!!!!!
I will be packing:
Q-Tips. I fucking LOVE me some Q-Tips. NOT cotton swabs, not some cheap ass generic jobjob, Q-TIPS. The one and only for my ear holes. Praise Jeebus for Q-Tips.
Face wipes. I loves me some face wipes, especially when you’re tired (and MAYBE drunk) and JUST WANT TO GIT TO BED ALREADY DAMMIT.
Right now, I’m using these Olay Sensitive Skin Daily Facials. I luff them. They exfoliate just the right amount and don’t leave me red or dry like some other wipes can. (WHAT?? YOU DIDN’T THINK I COULD BE SENSITIVE??? GEEZ. Bitches.)
Butt wipes. Cuz nothin says lovin like a clean bum. And perfect for a ho bath.
(What? I likes me some wipes.)
IBUPROFEN. It is your friend. Or mine. Whatever.
Bringing it.
My glasses. Don’t be surprised if you see me in glasses at 9am and contacts at noon. That’s just how I roll.
DEODORANT. Seriously people. Leave that hippie shit at home and bring out the big guns with the aluminum in it and risk breast cancer for two days. Your friends will thank you.
(But please, if you DON’T leave the hippie shit at home, DON’T cover up eau de naturale with patchouli oil. Just don’t. Please. I’d rather smell your funk. Honest. And then I’ll “accidentally” “spill” vanilla vodka on you. See? Win-win.)
Ear plugs. For my roommates. Cuz me + booze = teh snore. And I’m willing to share.
Lotions & Potions
A heavy duty intense hand cream. You’ll love it for the plane and for all that rough housing your hands will get from meetin and greetin a thousand laydeez.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
FACE CREAM. Don’t leave home without it. Unless, you know, you’re perpetually oily and never use the stuff. See also: plane travel.
Don’t forget your medications, inhalers, etc., etc. If you’re Canadian, don’t forget your passport. If you’re American and quite possibly look under 30 (or 40 even!) don’t forget your Driver’s License or State-Issued ID. Ya never know when you’ll get carded (probably right after you use your face cream).
Nail Care
I always kick myself when I forget a pair of small nail clippers and/or a nail file. I try to always bring both, cuz ya never know. Nail clippers double as scissors for those stray threads and shit, too. (NO, NOT stray SHIT. I was GENERALIZING. Dang, you people don’t let ANYTHING GO, DO YOU?!?!???!??)
So there you have it. Stuff VDog is bringin to BlogHer. I’m sure I’ll throw in a crapload of other stuff, too, but these are the (shareable) must-haves on my list (HEY NOW!!).
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Btw, I totes stole those pictures off teh Internets. Please don’t sue me, big bad companies with a lot of monnaez. I be pimpin yer prods, yo. And fer free. Cuz I luff them. (Yes this means I received no compensation nor any free products for mentioning the above goods. But if you big bad companies want to send me some? I will totes talk about them here and tell mai bitches that you gave me that shit free and/or paid me cash munniez to do so. Fair enough?)
21 Responses to “What I’m Bringing To BlogHer: The Not Clothes or Shoes Edition”
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I am so not bringing anything, trying to avoid the “Ooops, your bag is half an ounce over, cough up an extra $50″ crap at the airport. So I’ll be stealing form you.
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The first truly useful list for BlogHer! Well, useful if you can follow your somewhat bizzare use of the English language
But seriously, this is the kind of reminder we need beyond LBDs and stilettos.
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@Summer — I’m flying Southwest — TWO bags free!! And I share nice.
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@Maura — there’s nothing wrong with “spicing up” the English language — it’s quite boring normally.
(And hey, I got a degree in this shit, so it means I get to riff on spelling and language with AUTHORI-TAY. Ya heard me? Snort.)
And THANK YOU! for the props. I aim to be useful.
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I’m so glad that the ho bath got props.
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You are one smart beesh! I knew I loved ya fer a reason
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You are hilarious!
I bought my Q-tips today
have the face wipes
Migraine meds
but need the butt wipes
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What a great list. I’ve TOTES added all of the above to my MUST pack list.
See you in Chicago, in 3 days!
XOXO
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Yo.
There is definitely no substitute for the authentic Q-tip. Those other kinds unravel in your ear.
May I make a suggestion? In addition to facial wipes, how about investing in some of those shiny-face sopper-uppers? You know, for the 3:00 pm forehead shine? It’s not a cleanser; it just soaks up the grease. I’m not implying you have a face full of grease. I do, tho. But I won’t! Thanks to shiny-face sopper-uppers.*
(*also available in a butt version)
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My roommie and I are driving together, so no need to do the bag checking thing! Whoot, whoot! This is a GREAT reminder for those of us who don’t travel. Last time I went out of state was… 1995…
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I totally forgot ear plugs – for my roommates! My husband says I snore, but there’s no direct evidence of this. Better safe than sorry.
Face wipes are key to my slacker existence. I need to get packing because I need to pack light. My 2nd bag’s for swag!
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i heard sudafed for hangovers. and motrin. and if i smell patchouli…i’ll vomit.
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Think most of these are already in my roller bag, but good to have the list to double-check. Can’t wait until Thursday!
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I can’t believe you linked me because of The Snores. Gah!
I am the LOUDEST snorer ever.
Also bringing:
Anti-nausea meds for when um, “my friend” has too much to drink.
My crazy pills
Tums for when “my friend” has an empty stomach and the alcohol is eating through her stomach lining.
Hair bands, hair elastics, claw clips – can never have enough ‘”keep-my-f*ckin’-hair-out-of-my-eyes clips.
My travel card for my CANADIAN health insurance that covers my ass should there be a mishap in Americus. That way I don’t have to fork over hundreds of thousands of dollars.
Maybe Imodium for my nervous poops which have already started.
Ya, you’re welcome.
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Oh yes, oh yes – I am making one of theeeeeese lists TOO!
See you soon!!
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EMERGENCY UPDATE #2: safety pins (for bewbs that try and escape) and band aids (for all dem purty new shews).
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I always, always forget Q-tips. Bless you for the reminder. Question: Do I want to schlep my laptop to the actual sessions, or just keep it in the hotel for 3am photo uploading? Any thoughts?
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Cannot live with out REAL Q TIPS. And can I mention that I am incredibly jealous~maybe when I grow up I can go to BlogHer too!
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Love the list. Also bringing QTips, mortin, face cream plus a little something to drink in my room. And some snacks – I get hungry late-night. Especially when I have a little bit to drink
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This post had me laughing till I was cryin ya’ll. You crack my shyt up!!! (by the way @ExtrodinaryMommy, who is Mortin?, LOL) I love love loved this post. You ladies rock!!! U soooo should be paid to write this stuff.
See ya’ll soon, and don’t worry, I know I yapp a lot on Twitter, but IRL I am extremely shy, and my voice has left me, so I wont be all obnoxious and stuff like can be on Twitter! Luvs Yall’s
Crackalakalin Love to ya!
Beth AKA The Plus Size Mommy
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Tee hee! Good stuff! ;D
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