Eiieeyyy Matey!
(Originally Published March 24, 2009)
I think you know the seven oh four gals recently got together in the sunny, er, wet city of Seattle for a little reunion. Part of the plan was to take headshots for this here website. And wouldn’ya know? THE SUN! It came out!
Eiieeyyy.
I’ve long known I have this.. thing.. with my left eye. It’s not lazy, it’s just squinty. As I age, it’s getting more and more squinty.
I’m completely unable to smile without looking like a pirate.
Let’s investigate:
Exhibit 1: The Lovely Vdog
Raur, baby! Spank that Oakland ass!
Exhibit 2: The FancyPants Dawn
I know, right? Smart AND Pretty. If I didn’t lover her I’d hate her for this.
Exhibit 3:
Where?! WHERE ARE MAH EYES?
Exhibit 4: Me with V’s eyes photo-shopped in.
:: shiver ::
Exhibit 5: We tried again! Take fourteen:
Still! STILL NO EYES.
You know, I’ve been told I look like Sandra Bullock. No! I have BEEN TOLD that. So here I am with Sandra Bullock’s eyes:
Still not right.
This is getting closer:
But not very natural.
So I pull out a photo with my friend Jenny from Great Little Stories in which I go so totally PIratey it’s scary:
Eiiiyyyy
This is better:
(Ish)
This leaves me with no other solution than to pick my favorite shot of the 230 pictures we took that day as my one and only headshot:
The ENZ.
(Eiiiyyy RRRrrrr)
(Which sound is more Piratey? Eeiiiyyy or Rrrrrr)
(Does it matter?)
(Yes)
34 Responses to “Eiieeyyy Matey!”
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Author: Mrs. Flinger
You crack me up with your Sandra Bullock eyes. You are beautiful- pirate eyes or not- but seriously, I’ve never noticed that before. Our Seattle eyes are just not used to sun- that is why you couldn’t see yours when you were outside. Here we don’t do photos outside because our eyes are like, “WHA? Open in the…..the light?? Hell no!”
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Oh my goddy god god, how I love you crazy betches.
(Do I want to lick you all?)
(Yes.)
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I love me a sexy pirate.
RAWR.
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You know you are hot stuff. Well, if you don’t, I’m here to tell you.
I’d lick you.
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Dude, don’t forget that OTHER picture of us, where you’re all normal and cute as ever, and I’M a total pirate. Or a drunk pirate, even. Actually, I’ll put it on my own blog because THAT’S HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU. It will be up shortly.
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Dude – I don’t have any eyes in that picture of me.
But yes. The licking photo is the best.
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I, too, have a one-eyed squint. Aaaargh, me hearties! I be a pirate too!
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rawwwrrrrr….
hawt.
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Oh my gawd! Must pick self off floor! Love the squinty eyes… you look like a happy puppy or something! But then the lickety lick look makes VDog and Dawn look all puppy like. Not sure which is more piratey, eeeiiiyyyy or rrrr… but I have to go pee now… laughing too damn hard!
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You should totally have someone kick one of your shins so you can be a real pirate.
Or just make out with Johnny Depp.
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Y’all are teh best.
You make one-eye feel sexy. RAUR.
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I commiserate. But I think your squinty eyes are quite charming. Not to make this about me, but to totally make this about me… I have one eye (opening) that is bigger than the other. You have been compared to Sandra Bullock… I could be compared to Mize WIzowski from Monster’s Inc. And he only had 1 eye. Good times. My 1 comfort is that Desmond (Lost) has one big eye too. I know we’ll be together someday *shakes own shoulders and returns to reality…*
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I think I like the pirate version the best, actually!
Fabulousness – you haz it.
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Thanks for the laugh! This day has been shit and I needed that!
I have a weird lip thing. Kinda like an Elvis snarl, but its my bottom lip. Kinda looks like I had a mini-stroke that affects nothing but the left side of my lower lip.
I think I’ll start a group on facebook.
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That was a cute post! You are your own worst critic…you’re adorable…you are all adorable! I love the final picture! Good luck with your site!
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you’re from seattle. sunlight is like kyptonite to you, gremlin. BRRIGHT LIGHT BRRRIGHT LIGHT!!!
also, i’m moving there. my b-day is july 4th so they will let me move to americus, right?
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Can.not. Stop. Laughing.
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Mrs. Flinger… the only woman who can make eyeballs passe.
Also, VDog … ooh-lala. Rawr!
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Heeee. Hawt. I’m a major squinter, too, but sometimes if I make a real effort to open my eyes it works out. But then sometimes it is too crazy open-eyed! & it is one eye a bit more than the other, too. ;p
LOVE the piratey goodness, the headshots in general, and the lick-shot! (I took that one, right?) Finally, my “PA” title came true! LOL.
Great post, too fun.
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It would be great if I could stop laughing now because I’m starting to snort and that just makes me laugh harder. But everytime I think, “WHERE ARE MAH EYES?” I start up all over again. OMG.
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Laughing to hard to comment properly.
Arrrrrr!
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You ARE aware that Seattle is, like, RIGHT down the road from me, right?
Um, heads up next time, hosers.
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Mr. Lady. No. No I did not realize you were THAT CLOSE. Otherwise I’d have totally driven up there by now and stalked yer ass.
Eh.
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Ummm…HELLO! Every picture since birth is squinty-eyed thankyouverymuch. I think it’s teh hawt.
Then again, that might be because I cannot actually see out of my incredibly small eyes.
BITCHES with your big old eyes.
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Funny, funny, funny fucking shit!
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Ok the photoshopped eyes both scared the hello out of me and made me pee my pants with laughter
At least you don’t break cameras and have a nice smile
Every picture I take sucks major ass.
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Ha, I said scared the ‘hello” out of me.
That is brilliant. I’m brilliant.
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photoshopped eyes =the scary!
Love the pirate but of course the best of the bunch is the licking!
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Arrrghh!!!
Love it!
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I want a lick
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Of course you were squinting. The Victoria and Dawn beauty was BLINDING.
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I have the same problem. When I was little my mom used to fret about it a lot.
Finally, though, I have realized that if I do a fake smile, it doesn’t happen. Only if I am genuinely smiling. So, if I need a picture to look nice, I give it a sort of fake smile.
And actually, everyone loves my ordinary smile! It’s only in pictures that it looks weird.
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*giggle*
LUff.
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*giggles* This made me smile and laugh out loud. Eiiyyyy
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