It’s not every day I get to call my Itty Bittys a Decolletage. by @alotofnothing

Well, HI THERE! all you lovelies here at the dirtiest room on the interwebs. I’m here to make things even more Awesome than they already are here at 704.

You should know the big boobage around here already with VDog, Dawn & Flinger, so I’m figuring they brought me on to bring down the average cup size. As a larger lady with lovely lady lumps like mine, you’d think they came along with a set of massive funbags, but unfortuntely, the boob fairy skipped over me and granted my sister with the familial breasticles.

Hers? Are magnificent.

Mine? Are Itty Bitty Titty Committee charter members ravaged by months of breastfeeding nearly Irish twins. Not so spectacular.

When I tell the peoples of the interwebs that I have the biggest ratio of chesticles to body mass, they don’t believe me. Way back when 6 months ago at BlogHer ‘09 (woot! woot!) when I met many of my fellow computer dwellers, I had my sweater puppies out, raised, and propped up with the aid of little air pockets courtesy of the best bra known to the big woman. They gave me out-and-proud, ever-important decolletage. (I totally learn stuff watching Project Runway.)

Family dinner nights when I wear them out and at attention, it’s hard to get my husband’s attention up to my face. Cause really, let’s be honest. He’s not really looking at the teeny tittys on days when they’re hidden in the threadbare everyday bra. (Proof: the picture I had him take above.)

On a normal, yoga pants-wearing day, my titties are folded into my tiny 42Bs (yes, they DO make that size, they’re just found on a month-long scavenger hunt to the big girl store).

Normally, I’m pretty much lucky to find my bewbs reaching out past my belly rolls.

Do yours hang low, or do they wobble to and fro?

Or both?

~

Angie is a well-rounded internet pro. With an online children’s store, a personal blog about nothing, a co-op blog with like-minded snarky women, and a heavy hand at Twitter, she knows the internet and the world of social networking well. In addition to a full internet life, Angie has two young girls and a husband who puts up with a lot of her computer-driven life. She enjoys her TV and DVR more than what is considered healthy. She understands the happiness found in a good meal and isn’t afraid to take a second helping of everything good in life.

My motto: “Might as well do something while you’re doing nothing.”

7 Responses to “It’s not every day I get to call my Itty Bittys a Decolletage. by @alotofnothing”

1. TexasRed says:

   02/04/2010 at 1:28 pm

   I’m a big fan of the pretty bras, no matter what the size. Had a hard enough time in high school / college finding bras that didn’t look institutional. Now, I don’t care if half the paycheck has to go to a specialty store, I’m getting the tangerine lace / blue plaid / deep plunge pretty pretty.

   (totally unpaid advertising, I usually get mine through the bravissimo link here at 704 b/c Dawn introduced me to them and they rock!)

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2. Andrea's Sweet Life says:

   02/04/2010 at 1:29 pm

   I love my bewbs. They are magnificent. That being said, I do NOT like to be started at, so they hide behind fruit of the loom casual sports bras 360 days a year.

   Kinda sad, actually.

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3. middle-aged-woman says:

   02/04/2010 at 2:30 pm

   My girls make me crazy. They used to be fiiiiiine. And then I nursed two kids, and now they could easily be tied in a bow. Around the Empire State Building.

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4. cindy w says:

   02/04/2010 at 5:45 pm

   High five, my B-cup sister. I figure we’re here to balance out the copious amounts of boobage all around us.

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5. VDog says:

   02/04/2010 at 5:50 pm

   All boobs deserve love.

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6. Al_Pal says:

   02/05/2010 at 5:50 pm

   Yes! All boobs deserve love!

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7. Meg says:

   02/06/2010 at 6:52 am

   I’d motorboat it.

   *snort*

   [Reply]