The north pole, the south pole … and the stripper pole by @planetofjanet
There are old people, and then there are people who happen to be old.
Put my mom in the second category.
She actually celebrated her 80th birthday a couple weeks ago, breaking all records for longevity in her family.
She has four children and 10 grandchildren, volunteers at a local breast center, is a breast cancer survivor herself and has been married to my dad for 60 years.
Aaaaaaand …
She pole-dances.
Yes.
She and her other septua- and octogenarian cronies take a workout class that involves a pole, CFM shoes and a G-string.
Yes, a G-string.
One night, when she was showing off her shoes (and yes, those ARE her real feet in her real shoes), the G-string fell out of the shoe bag.
She assured her horrified children and grandchildren that she actually wears the G-string OVER her tights and UNDER her workout pants/shorts/whatever-they-are-I-don’t-want-to-know.
With the strings peeking out.
“It’s just a little tease,” she giggled.
*La la la la la I can’t hear you*
She has admitted that she would LOVE to put a pole in their house.
An idea that makes my father grin a nasty grin.
But the truth of the matter is …
“He’s never seen it, and HE NEVER WILL,” and you can take THAT to the bank.
Meanwhile, when she speaks of such things, the looks on the faces of her progeny can be described as pricelessly appalled.
“I can spin around the pole two to three times,” she likes to tell us. “Not bad for an old broad. But I don’t go upside down …”
(wait for it)
” … anymore.”
*La la la la la I can’t hear you*
Janet writes at From the Planet of Janet, which she totally hides from everyone in her real life. In that real life, she juggles five kids (ages 15 to 28), a calm and level-headed husband, and birthday dinners that can make a grown woman weep.
4 Responses to “The north pole, the south pole … and the stripper pole by @planetofjanet”
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Author: the planet of janet
Today I Celebrate . . . by @kaisermommy for @maggiedammit
You wouldn’t think that I would celebrate a Saturday morning that has me catching tears streaming down my face before I’ve had coffee. You could think I was cruel for celebrating the hardest fight of someone’s life. You might think I’m a little crazy for using the word “love” in regards to a person who’s last name [...]
OMG, she looks better than I do!
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Your mom is toooooo much!
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*giggle* Awesome. Pretty sure I’ll be a person who happens to be old.
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Your Mom is HOT! Dayum!
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