What to do with old greeting cards. (If you have way too much energy.) by @sarcasticmomlc

After the holiday/birthday/celebrationofsomekind is over, and you have all these lovely greeting cards from people, what do you do with them?

I know some of you are all sentimental and shit and like to save the cards, and therefore, put them in an album or something. (Seriously? Are you fucking serious? No, really ARE YOU SERIOUS? I don’t even have time to shove them behind the fish tank where I won’t have to look at them anymore, and you have time to store them and look forward to looking through them again later? I’m disturbed impressed by you.)

I’m sorry, what were we talking about? Oh yeah, what to do with the cards, and blah blah blah.

Okay, get this, the first thing I’d normally say is that if you know you don’t want them, let’s at least do something nice for the planet and recycle them in a paper recycling bin. Do your part for Mother Earth, beeshes.

But I’m going to go a step further here and tell you that you can actually MAKE SOME SHIT out of those things.

Oh yeah, I went there.  We are actually going to MAKE AN EFFORT HERE.

If you’re really energetic and excited, you can make your own paper, like I sometimes do.  Please note this post and you can find a great paper-making tutorial.  Use the greeting cards along with other junk/trash papers to make your own fabulous, handmade paper!  I know, it’s amazing what one can accomplish on cocaine.  Ok, just kidding, I don’t do drugs.

I’m just naturally fucking crazy.

But we’ll go a little more low key here and you can make paper from scratch (you dirty hippies) some other time.  Here, we’re going to make like a muff diver and hit some box.

Or rather, make those greeting cards into boxes that you can use for future celebratory gift giving of some nature or something.

Hey, figure it out yourself.  You’re gonna make a pretty box.

Yes, this is a crafty idea that you may just want to punch me in the mouth for.  If that is the case, please go find my mother, it was her idea. She taught me this happy horseshit when I was a kid, and I’m just regurgitating the idea here for you now.  If you do punch her in the mouth, by the way, please also tell her, “that’s for the rug beater, from Lotus”. She’ll know what you mean.

*Awkward Silence*

Okay, then! Next.

You have a pile of cards of some kind – Christmas, Birthday, Valentines, So Sorry You Have An STD Get Well Soon, etc.  Take those cards and use the parts with decoration on them that would be cute on a small gift box and then trim and cut and fold and tape and do all the other crap that turns a piece of paper/cardboard into a box.

What, you thought I was going to give you specific, step-by-step instructions on how to make a fucking box?  Oh, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD.  THAT’S WHAT GOOGLE IS FOR, YOU LAZY ASSHOLE.

I’m an ideas woman. (Ones that I stole from my mother, apparently.)

Now just say, “Thank You, Lotus” and I can be on my way.

Um. That finger is not usually used for thank you.

~

Lotus Carroll is a wife and mother who has way too much time on her hands, so she crams it too full with tasks and deadlines.  She writes at her personal website i am lotus (formerly Sarcastic Mom) and reviews products at lotus reviews.
brain spillage @SarcasticMomLC

2 Responses to “What to do with old greeting cards. (If you have way too much energy.) by @sarcasticmomlc”

1. middle-aged-woman says:

   02/04/2010 at 2:56 pm

   Shit! Who told you about the STD???

   [Reply]
2. Al_Pal says:

   02/05/2010 at 6:54 pm

   *snort* Dirty hippies. Hugging trees, hitting boxes…

   [Reply]