Room 704 » Greis

Look, no hands… and I swallow by @AmazingGreis

Greis — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 14:00:03 +0000

I remember my first blow job like it was yesterday. I was 21 and out with friends. A random male stranger at the local bar dared me to do it, while others looked on. I’m never one to shy away from a good dare, even if I’m out in public. I sat down at the bar, my hands behind my back. I slowly licked the rim and then without a second thought I grabbed the glass with my mouth and shot my head back. The cool, creamy concoction went down smooth. I totally impressed the random stranger. He thought he might get lucky later… he was wrong. Thanks for the free shot, dude!!!

Blow Job

1/2 oz. Kahlua
1/2 oz. Bailey’s
Whip Cream

Layer the above (in order) in a shot glass.
Shoot it with no hands!!!

photo credit: Lady Kubricka / CC 2.5

Don’t stop and smell the roses… by @amazinggreis

Greis — Sun, 09 May 2010 00:15:56 +0000

All flowers (and grass and pollen and trees and animals…you get the picture) are the death of me.

I have allergies. The doctor likes to call them seasonal. I like to call them an ALL.YEAR.LONG.PAIN.IN.THE.ASS! My allergies make me miserable for about 75% of the year. The other 25% is bearable. I take daily allergy medication all year long. I get shots. I’ve even been known to inhale nasal spray. Some of it works temporarily (like, say, a few hours!), but none of it works like it should. I think I’ve become immune to allergy medication. And I’m not happy about it. #allergiescanSUCKit

From the middle of March to about the end of June and then again from September to November my allergies are at their worst. During this time you’ll likely find me inside hiding from the Texas heat and the Texas air. And if hiding doesn’t work you’ll find me with a tissue stuffed up my nose (klassy, right?). My throat and nose constantly itch and I sneeze a LOT. It’s a hard way to live.

Remind me again why I continue to live in Texas? And, please, never send me flowers!

photo credit:
dandelion, Photomish Dan / CC BY 2.0
with tissue, Anna Gutermuth / CC BY 2.0

Silly Leprechaun, green drinks are for kids! by @amazinggreis

Greis — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 15:55:12 +0000

St. Patrick’s Day is right around the corner and it’s become pretty customary for all things to turn green on March 17. There’s green beer, green eggs and green water. Basically, anything you could ever think of will likely be green on this one day a year.

Growing up I had a neighbor that loved the holiday. He wasn’t Irish and he wasn’t a Leprechaun, I just think he really liked the color green. Every year on March 17th he would put out his green yard decorations and invite us all over for some green food and beverages. He’d make green pancakes, green mashed potatoes and he’d put out chips and green salsa. Yes, it was weird, but he was a good neighbor and we all played a long.

My favorite part of the entire green party was the Leprechaun Punch. It was an icy cold, non-alcoholic, frothy beverage that was like Heaven to us kids. We would drink it til our stomach’s hurt and then drink some more, and then we’d be up for hours with a sugar high and green tongues. Fun times, fun times.

I’m a giver so I’m going to share the Leprechaun Punch with you all. It’s really easy and oh so good. Your kids will thank you!

You, too, can be the cool parent this St. Patrick’s Day. Make your kids some Leprechaun punch, it’s fun, easy and so very good.

Leprechaun Punch

Ingredients:
1/2 gallon of Lime Sherbet (softened, not melted)
1 – 2 liter bottle of carbonated lemon-lime soda (Sprite, 7Up, etc.)
Green food coloring (optional)

Directions:
- Pour the entire bottle of lemon-lime soda into a large punch bowl
- Empty the entire gallon of Lime Sherbet into the bowl (there will be fizzing and lots of foam)
- Mix well (don’t mix too fast or it may fizz over)
- The sherbet makes the drink a light green color, for a darker green add 10 – 20 drops of green food coloring and mix well.
- Add crushed ice, serve & enjoy

**Once the kids are in bed add vodka, rum or your alcohol of choice to give the punch an adult kick**

Extreme Beer Makeover by @amazinggreis

Greis — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 15:50:46 +0000

Ode to Green Beer
St. Patrick’s Day is very near.
Hip hip hooray for my green beer.
It’s cold and wet and sweet on my lips;
If I drink enough I might show you my tits!

That little piece of awesomeness was written by yours truly. Writing for Room704 has definitely corrupted me, or maybe it was all the green beer I consumed to prepare for this post, either way I’m not complaining. I love both the Room704 bitches ladies and green beer equally the same. Actually, I take that back, I love the Room704 bitches ladies way MORE!!

In honor of St. Patrick’s Day I’m going to teach you how to make your own green beer, and before you get your hopes up there’s no brewing required. I’m teaching you the crackertastic way, which means you buy your beer already canned/bottled at your local grocery store and you’re set. See, easy, right? And, you’re saving money because you won’t be paying bar prices. You can stay home and drink beer while in your green pajamas watching Wednesday night television. It’s a win win if you ask me!

Green Beer

Ingredients:

- Beer
- Mug
- Green Food Color
- Spoon

Directions:

- Poor your beer of choice into a frosty mug.
- Add 7 drops of green food color.
- Stir and ENJOY!

Greis & Room704 encourage you all to drink responsibly, if you drink don’t drive. We are not responsible for tit showing or any other naughty behavior that may occur after you’ve had 1 2 10 beers.

Naughti by nature (iPod not included) by @amazinggreis

Greis — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 13:49:30 +0000

I’m a single woman.

I’m often the purveyor of my own pleasure.

(Did I just type that out loud?)

I’ve owned a few “toys“.

So, when the ladies of Room704 (who always have my best interests in mind) handed me a Naughtibod by OhMiBod at BlogHer in Chicago, I wasn’t complaining. I’m always up for trying new things err “toys” and I’m never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I did what any other blogger would have done, I took the free swag and ran. (No worries there was no elbowing involved!)

The Naughtibod (also known as the NaughtiNano) works with your iPod or other mp3 player. The user manual states, “Naughtibod vibrates to the music on your iPod or mp3 player. Just plug it in and let yourself go. Use the volume wheel to increase rhythm intensity and find the ultimate groove where music and motion come together.” This is the first vibe that I’ve ever needed to read the manual for, you know, just to make sure I was using it correctly.

The Naughtibod has 2 modes;
1. Music Mode which connects the vibe to your iPod or mp3 player using the included audio input end cap & splitter with 3 foot freedom cord. You then use the volume wheel to increase or decrease intensity.
2. Normal Mode which is achieved by replacing the audio input end cap with the additional end cap. This turns the Naughtibod into a normal vibe with 7 pre-set patterns.

To be totally honest, had I written this review after my first experience with the Naughtibod, it may have been negative. I wasn’t too fond of the vibe. Maybe it’s because I’m too accustomed to my go-to toy. Maybe I just don’t like change. Either way, the Naughtibod just wasn’t doing IT for me. Lucky for the Naughtibod I forgive easily and gave it another try.

The second time was definitely a charm.
The Naughtibod hit all the right spots.
Music choice definitely makes all the difference in the world. You wanna make sure you have a play-list that includes lots of fast beats and continuous play, because every time the song hits a stopping point so does the vibe. And a stopped vibe is never a good thing, especially if you’re almost at your “boiling point”.
Also, be sure to keep the volume up. The user manual recommends keeping volume at 75%, and this is crucial if you want to get the most out of the experience, because the lower the volume the slower the vibe.

All in all, after a few tries and getting used to it, the Naughtibod did it’s job.

Would I recommend it? Yes, but not as a go-to everyday, or every other day, vibe.

And definitely not for a beginner.

Oh, and be sure to read the manual first.

Greis is a single, 30 something, who’s addicted to her iPhone and blogs at AmazingGreis. You can usually find her on Twitter, Facebook or losing a game (or 21) of Words with Friends. She loves a good chick flick, watching sports (Go Astros & Texans) and romantic walks on the beach with Justin Timberlake (yes, she can be a bit delusional). She is a self proclaimed DORK and proud of it.